The lights are out.
I walk into an empty room after everyone left.
Bleachers empty.
Litter left behind from the fans here to watch the big game.
A finger with no ring to wear.
The feeling, the look, the smell of loosing fills the air.
Janitors come in to look up the gym.
Head hanging after the lose of the state championship title.
That would my dream, breaking....
i like that you focused on an actual dream! way cool!
ReplyDeleteI think it's really cool that you focused on your dream as well!
ReplyDeleteI like the ending, how 'breaking' makes it seem more in the present, so it hits home a little more (does that make sense?) And I like how it is emphasized by the different text background :)
ReplyDeleteI like it a lot! It's short but powerful. I really liked the empty room and the no ring parts. Sad.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your description of the dream and how you emphasized 'Breaking'. Great job, keep it up.
ReplyDelete